Depending on your experiences as a single parent you may feel lucky that the absent parent is not in your child’s life. However, for those whose absent parent is in the child’s life it is important to learn how to co-parent effectively. How can we do this you may be asking – especially when you couldn’t get along within a relationship? We are going to attempt to answer this question in a six part series.
Part 1 – Letting Go
First of all we need to learn to let go of past anger and disappointments. As adults we had our chance at a successful relationship and for whatever reasons it did not work. Now it is time to focus on the well being of the child. Children need to feel secure in their relationships with both parents and this cannot happen if parents hold on to anger.
How to Let Go
Recognize that your relationship with the ex is not the same nor should be the same as the child/parent relationship. How you feel the ex has treated you is not necessarily the same as how he/she will treat the child. Unless the other parent is abusive towards the child there is no valid reason to come between their relationship and to do so will only create harm not only the adults involved but towards the child as well.
One way to let go of the hurt and anger from the past is to focus on the future. The end of a chapter means the beginning of a new one. Set goals for yourself and for your child. Such goals could include going back to school, becoming active in the community, or as simple as starting a game night.
What have you done to help you let go of past hurt and anger? Share your experiences in the comments section.
Next up: Children in the Middle
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